I’ve had trouble using nonbinary pronouns in formal writing, not because of any moral objection but because they’re too ambiguous when writing about multiple people. “They took her hand” doesn’t work if there are more than two people written about in the paragraph.
I’ve been casting about for a clear but respectful solution. Spell it “!they”? No, that sounds like Xhosa or computer logic.
I’m going to experiment with something I think might work, spelling the nonbinary pronouns with a single changed vowel: “thay,” “thair,” and “tham.” I haven’t seen this elsewhere but I’m sure someone else has thought it up before me. The logic of it is based on how Sweden formed a gender neutral pronoun – changing one vowel – and here I’ve chosen one that is a homophone or as close as possible – so the accepted verbal use does not or barely changes.
I hope this does only one thing – distinguishes singular and plural uses in the written form and makes sense as a way to clarify the ambiguity with minimal disruption and without disrespect.
I’m going to stick with this for a while because it will likely take some getting used to, but if after time this doesn’t work, I’ll go back to standard spelling. If it did help, please feel to adopt it and if you wish, link to this page as an explanation.